The weather outside has forced me to start reflecting...on life...my decisions...my mood. Does the reason why it's happened even matter? The point is it's got me in the mood to write.
So, I'm in another phase of my life and it seems like it doesn't get better as you grow older. In fact, I'm still asking myself questions I did from the last decade!
What are these blasted questions you ask? Just off the top of my head I'm gonna jot down a few:
How long does it take for a person to GROW the F up?
How many years does a person need to realize the mistakes he/she made?
Why is it SO damn hard for people to admit things?
Why is there always this need to protect the ego and to pretend like all's good?
Will the world end if we show that NOTHING is alright?
Why must we ignore our feelings and keep thinking about others?
How much hold will we continue to allow our families and society to have over us?
When will we finally cut ourselves some slack for everything we've been through?
You end up wasting years and years of your life...Chasing a dream...Looking forward to a future...A life...Following a path...Only to come to a dead end.
Sure, you can do something about it. It's all in your hands. Blah, blah, blah. But what if you can't? What if you've tried and there still isn't any difference? What if this is it?? There is no more life is offering you and you've tried to make the best of a bad situation but it doesn't matter because nothing will change.
Coming back to my original thought...It feels like nothing ever changes. You get older, you get wiser, you survive all that life throws at you, but in the end you do the same shit year after year. You try to change things around. You TRY to make it different. But when you're in a rut...You're in a damn rut! So....Yep, been looking for a change for 10 years now and still, NOTHING has changed.
Damn you rut!
So, I'm in another phase of my life and it seems like it doesn't get better as you grow older. In fact, I'm still asking myself questions I did from the last decade!
What are these blasted questions you ask? Just off the top of my head I'm gonna jot down a few:
How long does it take for a person to GROW the F up?
How many years does a person need to realize the mistakes he/she made?
Why is it SO damn hard for people to admit things?
Why is there always this need to protect the ego and to pretend like all's good?
Will the world end if we show that NOTHING is alright?
Why must we ignore our feelings and keep thinking about others?
How much hold will we continue to allow our families and society to have over us?
When will we finally cut ourselves some slack for everything we've been through?
You end up wasting years and years of your life...Chasing a dream...Looking forward to a future...A life...Following a path...Only to come to a dead end.
Sure, you can do something about it. It's all in your hands. Blah, blah, blah. But what if you can't? What if you've tried and there still isn't any difference? What if this is it?? There is no more life is offering you and you've tried to make the best of a bad situation but it doesn't matter because nothing will change.
Coming back to my original thought...It feels like nothing ever changes. You get older, you get wiser, you survive all that life throws at you, but in the end you do the same shit year after year. You try to change things around. You TRY to make it different. But when you're in a rut...You're in a damn rut! So....Yep, been looking for a change for 10 years now and still, NOTHING has changed.
Damn you rut!
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