When I was a little girl, I more or less had an idea of what my life would end up being like. It was of course, never always the SAME future. But I had a sort of a trailer running in my head of my life and a future plan. Now that I'm an 'adult' (never by choice!) I don't see those thoughts as childish or immature. I see them as thoughts of a dreamer. Which, anyone who knows me, will know is hard to imagine considering I'm too practical for my own good.
I remember Robert Frost's 'The Road not Taken' (yes, yes it doesn't literally mean the road not taken) from grade 10 and constantly ask myself to go down the road I had not taken. I don't regret my choices or my decisions. But I do end up thinking about what kind of life would I have been leading if not this one. I'm sure everyone does the 'what if' in their lives. I seem to be reflecting more and more on it as I grow older. I know without the path I travelled on, I would not be the person I am today. I will NEVER give that person up. I fought hard to become who I am.
I fought with myself to accept my mistakes and my choices, I fought hard with family and society to let me live my life on my terms and I have no regrets! Sure, there are certain things that could have been avoided to make my life easier but then again, those little things too have contributed in making me who I am today. My dreamer days are behind me altogether and I face the harsh realities of life everyday. This is a new future, a REAL future. I look forward to it and embrace the possibilities the unknown is going to bring.
All in all, I say it's been a lifelong battle to be comfortable in my own skin (flaws, flab and all).
But the good news is, I'm almost there now. :)
I remember Robert Frost's 'The Road not Taken' (yes, yes it doesn't literally mean the road not taken) from grade 10 and constantly ask myself to go down the road I had not taken. I don't regret my choices or my decisions. But I do end up thinking about what kind of life would I have been leading if not this one. I'm sure everyone does the 'what if' in their lives. I seem to be reflecting more and more on it as I grow older. I know without the path I travelled on, I would not be the person I am today. I will NEVER give that person up. I fought hard to become who I am.
I fought with myself to accept my mistakes and my choices, I fought hard with family and society to let me live my life on my terms and I have no regrets! Sure, there are certain things that could have been avoided to make my life easier but then again, those little things too have contributed in making me who I am today. My dreamer days are behind me altogether and I face the harsh realities of life everyday. This is a new future, a REAL future. I look forward to it and embrace the possibilities the unknown is going to bring.
All in all, I say it's been a lifelong battle to be comfortable in my own skin (flaws, flab and all).
But the good news is, I'm almost there now. :)
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